Lemony Snicket: The Unauthorized Autobiography

A Warnig from the Publisher

Many readers have questions about Lemony Snicket, author of the distressing serial concerning the trials of the charming but unlucky Baudelaire orphans, published under the collective title A Series Of Unfortunate Events. Before purchasing, borrowing, or stealing this book, you should be aware that it contains the answer to some of those questions, such as the following:

1. Who is Lemony Snicket?
2. Is there a secret organization I should know about?
3. Why does Lemony Snicket spend his time researching and writing distressing books concerning the Baudelaire orphans?
4. Why do all of Lemony Snicket's books contains a sad dedication to a woman named Beatrice?
5. If there was nothing out there, what was that noise?

Our advice to you is that you find a book that answer less upsetting questions than this one. Perhhaps your librarian, bookseller,, or parole officer can recommend a book that answers the question, "Aren't ponies adorable?"