mandy 27/01/2017
Alguém me da um tiro. (resenha em inglês porque tenho preguiça de traduzir do goodreads)
Rating: 4.5 (for now, I am still going to need some time to let this sink in and properly rate it)
"You're dead, and I'm the worst kind of alive."
I started this thinking it was just a sad book about two boys whose life didn't give enough time but I was so, so wrong. It's a story about three people (more if you count family) who lost someone they loved dearly and their different griefs.
I was immediately pulled into Griffin's world and his emotions and that destroyed me in the beginning. It got easier but it didn't change, exactly. When he was depressed, I was depressed, when he cried, I cried. When he was angry, I was angry. When he wanted to fuck away his pain and angriness… Well, I didn't get that one but it was still hard to read. Especially since I understand. It's impossible not to, even if you never lost someone you loved and never saw your world fall apart, the writing makes you feel it anyway. Adam Silvera doesn't give you a choice and I am definitely up for getting my heart broken more times with his other books, just not right now. I still need to heal.
Like Griffin, I loved Theo.
And I hated him.
I hated him for breaking his promise to never die, I hated him for moving on, I hated him for loving someone else who wasn't Griffin and saying I love you and having sex with someone who wasn't the one he promised to be endgame with. But most of all, I understood him too.
"People need people..."
My feelings for Jackson are still a bit mixed… I don't blame him for not saving Theo just as I don't blame Griffin for being the reason Theo went in the ocean in the first place but… [It’s hard not hating someone who tells his boyfriend not to talk to his best friend anymore because of his own insecurity (which he was right to feel after all] And then I realized I thought that because I was thinking from Griffin's perspective and I remembered all the books I read from “Jacksons” perspectives, when a paring falls in love but one of them still has that annoying ex who won't stop calling, especially if they still have feelings for each other.
And that's what makes this book so good!! You can't blame anyone. [although i am still pissed that Theo taught Jackson the kisses, that really got into my nerves] There is no bad guy, there's just people. Teenagers who were not ready to deal with grief. I mean, who is?
This book reminds me of AADDTSOTU and yes, I know they are nothing alike but the way I felt connected to Griffin was the same way I felt connected to Ari and that doesn't happen often, almost never.
So, thank you Silveira for ripping my heart out completely. It was not fun.
Now I need to talk about what bothered me the most about this book: Wade.
[I like him, really. But the whole Griffin x Wade "romance" didn't sail for me. And I know it wasn't supposed to, it's not like the pairings in this book are actually shippable, it's too complicated for that. But what happened between Jackson and Griffin wasn't a surprise, it was building up slowly and it was predictable in a "non-boring" and realistic way but Wade... ugh
I mean, what are the chances of that happening in real life? Pretty small, I would say.
It's not even about them having sex and Griffin moving on hours before Theo died. It's about the "I think we should just be friends" and then, two seconds later "I want to be more than friends".
Did it made sense? Yes, but Griffin himself said that history doesn't matter and I really wished all of them (Wade, Jackson and Griffin) would move on with new people. I love their friendship, and that is what it should have stayed as.]
About the end (more specifically the last line):
[ wHAT THE HELL DID THAT MEAN????
I don't know if I am putting too much thought into it but did he meant the parallel universes? Like, in another universe the story he told wouldn't be the right one? Or is there more to it? But we can never know because only Theo knew??? That last question is going to haunt me forever.]
Little things I liked:
- I am a sucker for parallel universes (I blame Evak)
- "I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual" THANK YOU!
- Harry Potter references.
- A very small mention of Brazil. I always get super happy when a book mentions my country and it's not xenophobic about it.
- Zombie Apocalypse talk. I used to do that with my friends in my first year of high school. It gave me a nice nostalgia.
- The kisses Griffin taught Theo... it was one of the rare cute things this book had and I held it tightly and I don't intend on letting go.
Not-so-little things I disliked:
- "It feels like more competition". Bisexuals aren't whores, Griffin. And you would know that, wouldn't you? (Okay, that was a dick move, sorry.)
- Comparing a professional psychologist to a street magician. Not demeaning street magicians bUT SERIOUSLY???
- The Wade thing I mentioned earlier.
I recommend this book to everyone who wants to read something realistic and is up to the emotional charge that comes with it.
[i apologize if there's any grammar mistakes. my eyes are tired and swollen from too much crying.]
site: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1882036162